Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And then he peed in my hair
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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