Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
