We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
