Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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