Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I want to be your penis for a week.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
