What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
