don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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