I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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