I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
