apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I deserve this hangover.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
