i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
