Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
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