I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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