508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
