I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
