I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
