It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
this beer tastes like vomit already
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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