i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
