Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
