Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
