I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize