Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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