Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
