It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize