I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
