The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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