i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
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People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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