Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
