Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
