I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
