I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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