i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
