I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
