i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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