im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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