garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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