I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
