I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
