if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
