Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
the liver wants what the liver wants
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I need water and some morals
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
