i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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