YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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