DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
