apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize