dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
