The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
