I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He shit in the fireplace
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
