Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
