It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
