honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
