dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize