I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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