and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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