You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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