Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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